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Today is my birthday. I am 32 years old. My 30’s suddenly seem so . . . inevitable. Normally, I’m the one to celebrate my birthday the loudest. A birthday is your own special holiday, a day the world became a little bit different because of your existence. Every birth has a story, a history, the [...] I know, I haven’t been blogging. Shame, as my grandmother would have said. I’m tired. I’ve been working a lot, mostly at night, and staying up much later than I’m used to. I’ve been working while sitting on an old, uneven couch, which is killing my back and shoulders. I’m stressed. About the house. About money. About [...] I bought these today. Freaking out. Freaking. Out. When I think about what I thought I’d be like as a mother — let me tell you, it didn’t include being all sentimental at $8 “Birthday Girl” shirts. And it certainly didn’t involve walking into a Carter’s outlet store and almost having sex with the first guy [...] And he taketh away. We just got a knock at the door at 10 p.m. A neighbor. How many cats did we have? Kramer is alive and purring next to me on the couch. Vincent Van Gogh, the father of the rest of the kitties we have, is dead. Hit and killed by a car. R.I.P. Kramer did fine through the night. I talked to the vet this morning. As far as they can tell, he has a fractured palate and broken jaw. His eyes are swollen shut now, but when they were still somewhat open, he did have his vision. Most of all, though, he has his wits about him. [...] I ran over one of our cats this morning. Specifically, MY cat, Kramer, that I had before I even met Chris. I felt it when I ran him over and I immediately knew what happened. He was alive when I last saw him. Between Chris and I, we spent four hours looking for him. Neither of us [...] This afternoon, I was changing Althea, my little firecracker. She was doing her thing, twisting her back and legs to flip herself over, making me curse a few times in laughter and frustration. After some goofing around, she flipped onto her back and I managed to get a diaper under her. Her happy cheeks round [...] Rainy morning. The lack of sunlight in the windows meant the girls slept in. Althea was up first, mumbling and sucking her fingers to get our attention. Elise slept soundly by her side. I decided to forgo efficiency and nurse them one at a time, spending a rare few moments with them one on one. I [...] We took the girls to the county fair today. You don’t understand. I LOVE THE FAIR. I love it so much, only capitalized letters can possibly capture my love affair with fairs. Polish sausages with onions and peppers. Foot-long corn dogs. Multi-colored cotton candy in bags. Deep fried things on sticks. Airbrushed hats. Embroidery while-u-wait. Mechanical [...] The girls have discovered their feet. It’s been a couple of weeks, actually. But it’s just now striking me how remarkable and profound this is. It started with a diaper change. I had Althea up on the table. I pulled her teensy feet up in the air to slide a fresh diaper under her tiny little bum, [...] |
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