Just a Bunch of Random Stuff

I don’t feel like being witty, coherent or organized, but I have a bunch of would-be posts accumulating in my head so I just need to get something written.

Feel free to comment on any, all or none of the following topics:

Why won’t my children sleep?

The girls are just about 16 months old. For the past [...]

Shopping: Tips and Confessions

I like shopping.

Oh sure, I hate the part where I catch a glimpse of my dimpled ass illuminated by a flickering fluorescent light. But since I generally don’t shop for clothes, this isn’t much of an issue.

What is an issue is that I like shopping — I like to spend money in general — but I don’t have a job.

These [...]

Twins/Infants Travel Tips

I’m no expert when it comes to traveling with kids. I’m just writing from our experiences so far. But a reader asked, and I’m answering. Because I care.

Compared to the trip to Colorado we did back in July, when the girls were eight months old, this trip went considerably better. Plus, we were better prepared.

This [...]

Coming Back from Cali

We’re back from our week-long trip to California.

I know! I didn’t even tell you guys. I was just nervous about someone breaking in and stealing all of our . . . books?

Anyhow, we visited my mom in Southern California. The O.C., to be specific. If you’ve seen “Desperate Housewives of Orange County” or “Laguna Hills” [...]

Oh, I Get it Now

I’m turning into “that mom.”

You know, the one who’s 10 minutes late to EVERYTHING.

I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

I’ve always prided myself on my punctuality. I think that tardiness translates, on some minor and occasional level, into self-centeredness. After all, why is your time more valuable than mine? Shouldn’t we both respect [...]

Verdammt noch mal, Mittelschmerz!

Aside from a few words that get me beer and food, I don’t know any German so I looked this post title up on Google Translate. According to a subsequent Google search, “Verdammt noch mal” means something in the vein of “Damn it!” “Damnation!” or “Dadgummit!” Close enough.
This post contains TMI for most men, every [...]

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

I’m having a tough time, guys.

I’m stressed, sad and tired. The latest events with our cats is wearing on me. Kramer developed a fever and I took him in to the vet. The way he has his jaw wired in place makes him drool and backwash everywhere, including into his food bowl. He drips and [...]

I’m Pretty Sure I’m Still High from All the Pills I Took Today

I had a root canal today.

Ugh.

For months, the very last molar in the very back of my mouth on the bottom left has been acting up. I ignored it until the tooth finally gave up the subtle cues and started screaming BITCH PAY ATTENTION TO ME.

I haven’t been to the dentist in years. I could [...]

Fisher-Price Can Suck My Big Fat Hairy Balls

Yeah, I said it.

I’ve always had a penchant for sending crazy emails. Random, empty can in my 12-pack of Sunkist? Email to the manufacturer. Typo on a menu? Email to the restaurant.  I enjoy the smell of your new line of deodorants? Email to Degree.

But now that there are children involved, my electronic correspondence is [...]

Happy Half-Birthday, Babies

Your Daddy and I love you more than anything in this world.