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I don’t feel like being witty, coherent or organized, but I have a bunch of would-be posts accumulating in my head so I just need to get something written. Feel free to comment on any, all or none of the following topics: Why won’t my children sleep? The girls are just about 16 months old. For the past [...] I like shopping. Oh sure, I hate the part where I catch a glimpse of my dimpled ass illuminated by a flickering fluorescent light. But since I generally don’t shop for clothes, this isn’t much of an issue. What is an issue is that I like shopping — I like to spend money in general — but I don’t have a job. These [...] I’m no expert when it comes to traveling with kids. I’m just writing from our experiences so far. But a reader asked, and I’m answering. Because I care. Compared to the trip to Colorado we did back in July, when the girls were eight months old, this trip went considerably better. Plus, we were better prepared. This [...] We’re back from our week-long trip to California. I know! I didn’t even tell you guys. I was just nervous about someone breaking in and stealing all of our . . . books? Anyhow, we visited my mom in Southern California. The O.C., to be specific. If you’ve seen “Desperate Housewives of Orange County” or “Laguna Hills” [...] I’m turning into “that mom.” You know, the one who’s 10 minutes late to EVERYTHING. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I’ve always prided myself on my punctuality. I think that tardiness translates, on some minor and occasional level, into self-centeredness. After all, why is your time more valuable than mine? Shouldn’t we both respect [...] Aside from a few words that get me beer and food, I don’t know any German so I looked this post title up on Google Translate. According to a subsequent Google search, “Verdammt noch mal” means something in the vein of “Damn it!” “Damnation!” or “Dadgummit!” Close enough. I’m having a tough time, guys. I’m stressed, sad and tired. The latest events with our cats is wearing on me. Kramer developed a fever and I took him in to the vet. The way he has his jaw wired in place makes him drool and backwash everywhere, including into his food bowl. He drips and [...] I had a root canal today. Ugh. For months, the very last molar in the very back of my mouth on the bottom left has been acting up. I ignored it until the tooth finally gave up the subtle cues and started screaming BITCH PAY ATTENTION TO ME. I haven’t been to the dentist in years. I could [...] Yeah, I said it. I’ve always had a penchant for sending crazy emails. Random, empty can in my 12-pack of Sunkist? Email to the manufacturer. Typo on a menu? Email to the restaurant. I enjoy the smell of your new line of deodorants? Email to Degree. But now that there are children involved, my electronic correspondence is [...] Your Daddy and I love you more than anything in this world. |
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