Category — Month-by-month

Long, long post ahead. You’ve been warned.

I have a confession to make:

I don’t want to breastfeed anymore.

Okay, okay. Settle down. Put down the gun. Stop crying. Let me explain.

I had a truly magical and amazing breastfeeding experience with the twins. We weaned at 16.5 months because, for my own mental health, I needed to, not because I wanted to or was ready to. I loved nursing them. They were enthusiastic eaters (most of the time) and were easy and enjoyable to feed (most of the time).

But Amaia has been a problem feeder since day one. For the first few months, she had a constant and inexplicable loss of suction while nursing. It drove me batshit. I couldn’t figure out what the problem was, since my lactation counselor ruled out tongue-tie. She always choked on my milk, screamed and arched her back after eating, popped on and off the breast constantly, and cried all the time. We both seemed miserable.

The look on Amaia

After that rough patch was over, we had a few truly beautiful, blissful months where nursing was all I remembered it being with the twins. She nursed frequently and fairly well. I was more confident and we happily nursed anywhere and everywhere. And while it was pretty awesome, I suspected she wasn’t quite emptying my breasts. I had to move her back and forth after she would pull away to make sure she got all the hindmilk.

And then . . . Well, things started sucking again (so to speak, har har). She began with the screaming, arching, and crying after feeding again. She would start and stop feeding, or reject feeding altogether. She seemed to hate nursing. I was a total wreck.

It got worse. She would pop and and off so much during the let-down phase that it would take forever for my milk to start flowing. She started getting impatient and pushing away from my breast when the milk didn’t come, which would stress me out, which would make my let-down take even longer, which would make her cry and completely reject the feeding, which would make me cry.

And I started to completely dread nursing her.

Still, I persevered. I was NOT going to give up before a year was up. Babies are meant to breastfeed and my simple task was to provide her milk. I was thankful, though, that by this point, she was finally taking solids — a milestone which took her a good six weeks to master after the introduction of solid foods (so do the math — that means she was exclusively breastfed for 7.5 mostly miserable months. Good god.).

Although she was a difficult case, she didn’t have problems with weight gain. Until we saw the pediatrician at 10 months.

Amaia had fallen completely off her growth curve. I can’t remember what the difference was now, but it was drastic. She had gained a mere four ounces in as many months. The doctor slapped her with the label that no breastfeeding mother wants to hear:

Failure to Thrive.

Failure. To. Thrive. Me? Amaia? Us? Are you kidding?!? Failure to Thrive was for schedule feeders, Baby-Wisers, mothers who refused to breastfeed their babies because it wasn’t convenient. I had shoved a boob in this baby’s mouth at the slightest peep since she was born. If anything, my twins were scheduled! How the hell do you explain this???

I was devastated. Mortified. Shocked. Depressed. Furious. Defensive. And ultimately, I felt utterly defeated. After all I’d gone through to that point, after the intense focus on nursing her despite the ongoing issues . . . The feeling of failure was overwhelming. A mother can provide her baby with the most basic of needs: comfort, clothing, shelter, and food. And I had failed at the most essential of those.

My baby was FAILING TO THRIVE in my care.

I left the visit in tears that day and immediately called my lactation counselor. After a 10-minute interrogation, she strongly suspected that Amaia had reflux the whole time.

Reflux. Never in a million years would I have thought it because Amaia’s wasn’t a spitter-upper. She didn’t vomit and she slept well. But apparently, it was still possible to have reflux without vomiting.

I called the pediatrician and hashed it out with him. I had never discussed with him all of the problems we’d had with nursing and solid foods. I always just assumed that it was an individual quirk, an “infant thing” that Amaia would outgrow. As miserable as it was, I assumed it was all no big deal. I was an experienced mother and was taking the laid-back approach this time around.  I had nursed twins. I knew everything, dammit!

From then on, I had to completely change my approach to nursing and feeding Amaia. I nursed her sitting almost upright. Immediately, she stopped crying after feeding. She was noticeably more content with nursing  (as was I) and would even comfort nurse — something she had never done. I added back nursing sessions and made sure she emptied my breasts.

I had to start examining every last morsel of food she ate. No more Mum-Mums, Puffs, Cheerios, or plain baby foods. It was all about real coconut milk, avocados, egg yolks, full-fat cheese, cream cheese, butter, olive oil, whole-milk yogurt, protein. I had to start reading the labels on baby foods and would only buy things that were at least 80 calories per serving.

I became obsessed.

And it worked. Since mid-October, Amaia has gained a little over three pounds. Every last ounce was earned with my blood, sweat, and (many) tears. She’s back on a normal growth curve (20th percentile on the WHO charts).

Additionally, I took her to a GI specialist and had FOUR VIALS of bloodwork taken out of my tiny little baby. (The phlebotomist took one look at her and asked how much she weighed — she wasn’t sure she’d be able to even take that much blood from such a small baby. Sigh.) Her bloodwork came back totally normal, with great iron levels and nothing out of sorts. But the GI doctor has ordered a feeding evaluation, citing that she’s a poor feeder and might be having something more going on with swallowing or texture issues.

So this brings us to today. Amaia now drinks whole milk, and I estimate she gets about as much whole milk as she does breast milk — probably 8 total ounces of breast, 8 of cow’s milk. She only nurses three to four times a day now. But aside from the first nursing session of the day, it’s pretty miserable and pointless. She gets a good bit of milk in the morning, but every other time she nurses for anywhere from 10 seconds to MAYBE two minutes per breast. She can’t be getting more than an ounce total from both breasts on a longer session.

Plus, she has started this weird habit over the past few days of stretching her arms straight against my chest so that she’s pushing me away — which, in turn, pulls my boob out and strrrrrrrrretches my nipple taut.

It feels really, really awesome. Especially when her teeth scrape against my nipple. You’ll just have to trust me on that one.

All I can conclude is that she’s just not interested in nursing anymore — and frankly, neither am I.

On the one hand, I feel like a complete failure. I really, really wanted to nurse for a long time this time, at least as long as with the twins, but preferably longer. I know that I have breastfed longer than 80% of mothers in the U.S. That’s awesome, right? I have given Amaia a lifelong gift that most children don’t get.  Yadda yadda.

But that’s not the point. I don’t breastfeed to get an award or for bragging rights. There’s obviously a major emotional component to breastfeeding, but I do it because human babies are supposed to drink human breast milk. That’s not meant to offend anyone — it’s just a fact. Even the cow’s milk she drinks is not designed for her gut. And to not be successful at it, to not even want to do it anymore because of such a poor experience over the course of over a year, feels really shitty.

But some days I end up so miserable, I’m convinced that I won’t even nurse her the next morning.

At this point, I’m just going to continue to do what we’re doing while focusing on ways to keep her calorie count up while relying less and less on my milk.

And I’ll be thankful that we made it this far, even though I mourn the nursing relationship and experience that I so deeply wanted.

From the moment you were born, I fell in love with you.

And I’ve fallen in love with you over and over again every single day.

Happy first birthday, little Amaia. Ama loves you so much.

Between the twins’ birthday party last month, and the baby getting ready to turn one in just a couple of days (OMFG ONE WOT???), we are seriously broke in party mode around here.

With having the extra party now to do every year, I’m starting to learn a little about pulling off a kids’ birthday party. Now, I’m no expert. I have hosted a whopping four parties in three years. But I’m a quick study!

Now, chances are, all the stuff I’m about to share with you is blindingly obvious to everyone else. But, to me, it wasn’t. So I’m just passing along the information in case it helps someone else out.

The twins’ birthday party this year was at a local park. I was FREAKING OUT because I’m bi-polar not taking meds. I am NOT a kids’ party-planning person. I don’t do themes, I have no organizational skills, I don’t know how to decorate and I hate the outdoors. Last year, we had their party at an indoor kids’ gym where everything was done for me. The year before that was a gathering at our house (wherein I was cruelly introduced to the necessity of a theme for a child’s birthday party).

So, an outdoor party, planned entirely by me, to accommodate about 40 adults and children? Well, this was going to be interesting.

My experience so far has been that, out of your invite list, maybe 75% of people say they can attend, and only 40% of those people actually show up. So, I scaled back the food and party favors slightly.

Lesson #1: DO NOT SCALE BACK FOOD AND PARTY FAVORS SLIGHTLY.

Yes, I am shouting! At you! Because you know what happened? Everybody showed up. EVERYBODY. And some of their friends! Seriously, people? When did you actually start showing up when you say you’re going to?

We ran out of food and favors and I felt like a total dick. We seriously had like a slice of cheese and two grapes leftover. Thank god my kids don’t eat sandwiches, because we would have had negative cheese and no grapes leftover.

That brings me to:

Lesson #2: Choose your location wisely, especially if you’re lazy,

and

Lesson #3: Let location dictate theme — or lack thereof.

On the plus side, the park was built-in entertainment. The picnic tables were shaded, so I just sat there all comfortable and mom-like and I didn’t actually have to play with the children even once.

Plus, having the party at a park meant I was off the hook for theme-y decorations. I spent about $40 on tablecloths, two sizes of plates, cups, utensils, two balloon arrangements and a generic “Happy Birthday” banner (which I re-used at Amaia’s party) by buying the generic, birthday-themed supplies at BJ’s instead of the cute, expensive-as-hell theme decorations from the party supply store. In fact, I originally bought a full set of themed decorations for almost $130 at the party store, meaning I saved $90.

Speaking of budget,

Lesson #4: DIY doesn’t always mean savings.

I may have saved on decorations, but we actually spent a lot more money by doing it all ourselves. The kids’ gym party last year cost about $325 total, including our gifts to the kids, party favors, cupcakes, balloons, and food for the adults (the kids’ food was included in the gym rental).

The DIY park party cost closer to $500. You know, because we have $500 just laying around. Renting the stupid picnic tables alone cost $110 for four hours, and that didn’t include jack shit except the right to tell people to get the hell off our tables (WHICH I DID).

Now, for Amaia’s first birthday party, I invited some of the twins’ friends over for a cupcake-decorating party. As I Googled ideas for party favors and crafts, I came across the idea of giving every child an apron that they could decorate themselves and take home, along with extra cupcakes, as their favor.

I loved the idea. Not only was it a welcome relief from the bags of throw-away trinkets that you get at most parties, but it would actually end up being cheaper than the party favor bags.

I got a dozen colorful aprons on Amazon for a mere $9.50 shipped (with Amazon Prime; price of the apron will fluctuate a bit). I paid less than $5 for the cupcake supplies. Considering a party favor bag full of crap will run you in the range of $2-3 per bag, this was a big savings.

Then, I had another idea: What if I personalized every apron by stenciling each child’s name on it beforehand? Wouldn’t that be awesome?!??

Then: Am I out of my fucking mind? What business do I have with paint and stencils? I can barely dress myself, let alone create something that involves color coordination and, like, not writing like a five year old.

Lesson #5: You, too, can stencil.

Holy shit you guys, my stenciled aprons came out awesome. Check it out.

Okay, so you could totally see the pencil lines where I lined up the letters. And I smeared the paint on most of them. And a couple of them came out downright ugly and I felt really bad giving it the kid. BUT. I fucking stenciled, people. STENCILED.

The point is, it’s okay to step out of your comfort zone for your kids. Just don’t expect perfection and make no apologies for it.

For crafts, the older kids got to decorate their own cupcakes and totally fuck up all my stencil work draw on their aprons (I bought fabric markers for that — no way was I going to have a dozen three-year-old kids running around with fabric paint in the house).

I was a bit nervous about the kids getting to work with food and frosting and whatnot. But, thankfully, I was wrong!

Lesson #6: Decorating food can actually be a very do-able and not-too-messy craft for little kids who dirty everything else up.

For toppings, I put out bowls of gummy bears, colored marshmallows, rainbow sprinkles, crushed Oreos, plain M&M’s, and these seasonal gingerbread-man marshmallows. The kids had a BLAST. There really was minimal mess, and only one kid took a scoop of sprinkles and ate it directly. (Side note: I would suggest cutting the Oreos into recognizable pieces; no one used them and now I have a bag of crushed Oreos I refuse to throw out.)

The party turned out great and we had a ton of food left over, thanks to the aforementioned fact that I’m a quick study and I over-planned the food this time. Which reminds me,

Lesson #7: Pizza is cheaper than sandwiches

Shop around for the main course if you don’t make it yourself. For instance, around these parts, a deli party sandwich from the popular supermarket, Publix, will run you $19.99 per sandwich, which feeds 8. A comparable sandwich from the less-popular Sweetbay is just $11.99 (also feeds 8).

Now, a one-topping medium pizza from Domino’s, which can also be ordered ahead of time and delivered to your door? $5.55. Also feeds 8.

We basically paid almost half for the food. That’s a big deal, so to speak.

And finally, speaking of food,

Lesson #8: Make your own fruit and vegetable platters

Those fruit and vegetable platters at the supermarket are a major rip, right? And the food is half-old and the dip is nasty, anyway. I comparison shopped between the supermarket sales and the wholesale market, and made gigantic fruit and vegetable trays myself, with premium dipping sauce, for about the same price as the prepared trays — with leftovers.

I chose the fare wisely — only stuff that required minimal or no chopping. For fruit: strawberries (locally grown, even), grapes, and cantaloupe. Veggies: cherry tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, and skinny baby carrots.

Everyone had a great time. And you know what? There was no mess difference between two kids or 12. Our house still looked like a complete and total disaster.

Oh, and in case you were wondering . . . Amaia beat the hell out of her cupcake. She may look nothing like me, but she sure knows what to do with her dessert. Happy birthday, little baby.

In just a few short weeks, my twins will be three years old. The birthday party invitations have been sent (okay, it was a Facebook invitation. Just being cheap and lazy trying to keep things green.), the venue has been reserved, the “birthday girl” shirts have been bought.

I’m admittedly having a very difficult time coming to terms with the idea of having three year olds. Amaia’s growth toward turning one isn’t helping. Every box of the girls’ old clothes I bring out makes me feel anxious and depressed. I’m trying desperately to remember how Elise and Althea were at Amaia’s age as I soak in every millisecond of Amaia’s infancy.

So much has changed in the past year with the twins. I haven’t done a blog post about their development in a long time. It’s about time, then, to catch up. Long post ahead.

Eating

This seems like a silly topic to talk about with preschoolers. They eat when they’re hungry and don’t when they aren’t . . . or when they feel rebellious or are tired or mad or busy or don’t like pasta/beef/garbanzos/honeydew/air/being alive. Sometimes, they eat like  horses. Sometimes, they eat three raisins, then jump up and down on the couch for six hours non-stop.

Come to think of it, I could benefit from this diet.

That said, Elise eats more and is a much more adventurous eater. Elise will try a bite of almost anything. Meanwhile, Althea will rarely try anything that she doesn’t recognize or that isn’t properly presented or explained to her. Elise tends to like more savory foods — pasta, casseroles, meats, starches –, while Althea tends toward more sweets, dairy and fruit. There is now a visible weight gap between the two.

Random food information: A pediatrician (not ours) recently informed me that you’re not supposed to feed hot dogs, popcorn, grapes, nuts and a variety of other common foods to children until they’re four years old due to the risk of choking. Um, woops. I get that you can’t give a nine-month-old a kielbasa covered in unshelled walnuts, but come on. FOUR???

Sleeping

As is to be expected for preschoolers, their bedtime routine takes approximately forever.

Between the periodic and inexplicable hatred of bath time; the kicking, shrieking and flailing to get into pajamas and a nighttime diaper; the minimum 18 books that we MUST read, despite the 9-second attention span; the drama-filled and violent separation of children into two bedrooms (more on that later); the subsequent two to three hours of checking on and replacing of one twin into her designated bed (I’m talking about you, Althea); the sips of water, storytelling, song-singing and final trips to the bathroom even though I just asked you if you needed to go pee-pee, that happen EVERY SINGLE EVENING, it takes anywhere from two to four hours for the twins to be bathed, dressed, put into bed and finally, actually fall asleep — not to mention fitting in the baby’s bedtime somewhere in there.

It’s as exhausting and frustrating as it is enjoyable. I love the reading, singing and telling stories part. The kicking and crying and alligator rolling, I could do without.

Beginning shortly after we converted to toddler beds back in May, we discovered that the girls could not fall asleep in the same room anymore. First, we separated them just for naps. We decided that Althea, the less defiant of the two, would sleep in our bed.

The first few weeks were really stressful. I constantly had to check on her and replace her in the bed, sometimes to the point that she wouldn’t nap at all. Then, I started putting her blankie in time-out if she got out of bed. It was a few more weeks of that before she really understood that she was expected to stay in bed for the duration of a nap.

(Why do kids need things explained 9,000 times? I don’t understand this.)

A few weeks later, we started separating them at night. They were often keeping each other up until 11:30pm, which led to cranky and over-tired kids the next day. Althea now falls asleep in our bed between 9-10pm and we transfer her to her room with Elise, usually around 10:30 or 11pm. Althea has always required slightly less sleep than Elise anyway, so this works well for us most of the time.

When they do nap, which is becoming rare these days, they still do decent three-hour stretch from 2-5pm. I’m finding that they’re super-sensitive to being overstimulated and thus not being able to sleep, much more so now than when they were younger (contrary to what I’ve read and believed). In fact, since starting preschool in September, their napping has become sporadic.

Bedtime is theoretically (and sometimes actually) from 8 or 9pm – 7 or 7:30am. Elise would happily sleep longer if Althea weren’t up first.

Milestones

Oh, I don’t even know where to start here. There’s just so much that has happened in the year from toddler-hood to preschooler-hood:

• They started going to preschool twice a week.
• They can ride tricycles.
• They had their first real haircuts this year. ::cry::
• The roll of fat in their upper thigh has disappeared. ::sob:: . . . ::sobcrywailwhinewillnotacceptdoesnotcompute::
• They can speak in complete sentences, sometimes even two or three complete sentences in a row, of five to seven words in both English and Spanish. They speak mostly French to my mother-in-law and will easily and intuitively switch languages depending on who they’re speaking with.
• Yes, I’m bragging. Suck it.
• They sing songs, recite lines and music from movies, and sense the time of day (e.g., a certain show starts after naptime).
• They can use the toilet on their own (but don’t wipe their own butts yet).
• Their imaginations are completely fantastical. They re-create characters and scenes from books and movies, play pretend with dolls and stuffed animals, and make up games to which only they seem to know the rules (and they both create and agree upon the rules without a single word).
• They enjoy school and have a good relationship with their teachers and other students.
• They can sing the ABCs and (sort of) count correctly to 20.

Personalities

This topic has become rich over the past year. Things we thought we knew about each twin has flip-flopped. I suppose that a big part of that is the general feeling of pressure to categorize each twin as “the such-and-such” one or the “this-and-that” one. In reality, even the most identical-appearing of twins are truly two separate people. Navigating this terrain with increasingly sentient little kids is new to me.

We used to think of Althea as The Bold One and Elise as The Sensitive One. But now, we’re seeing that it’s simply not that black and white. However, we are seeing that each seems to have generally taken after one parent or the other.

We agree that Elise tends to take after me. She’s bull-headed and wants to do things her way, not as she is told to do. She feels deeply and is very intuitive. She’s determined, a bit lazy, a bit detached, and has a great sense of self-pride. She’s a bit socially reserved (though that has changed some since starting school).

Althea takes more after Chris. She strives for social interaction and acceptance. She walks into a group of kids and either makes her own friends or attracts them to her. Negativity and punishment are met with extremely emotional responses. Fear of failure doesn’t keep her from trying anything. She’s a little clumsy and very creative.

As for talents and proclivities, Elise still tends to react to music, as we saw very early on. I don’t see it as something that will help me retire early a natural gift, but definitely something that is interesting to her.

Althea has shown tremendous interest in drawing and reading, without a doubt. She wants to read 24/7 and can draw her face off.

Overall, they’re doing awesome. I adore them with every iota of my being and couldn’t be a prouder mom.

Sigh. Someday, we'll get a normal picture with normal smiles. For now, this will have to do.

Well, hell! Amaia went and turned nine months old and I’m just now getting a chance to catch up. How is she doing?

Eating

As solids become more and more a part of Amaia’s everyday diet, she nurses less and my milk supply is taking a major hit.

Currently, she nurses 4-5 times a day and has 2-3 meals of baby food and other miscellaneous finger food, including puffs, Mum Mums, pieces of bread and fruit. She still chokes on some chunkier stuff, so we have to be careful. Meanwhile, as my milk supply drops, my letdown reflex takes longer and longer . . . which means the baby becomes impatient and upset, latching and unlatching over and over again . . . which in turns stresses me out . . . which consequently prohibits an ejection reflex at all. Sometimes, I get so stressed out by how long it takes for my milk to let down that I don’t have a let down at all, and we have to stop altogether. It’s all very upsetting.

Looking back at where the twins were at nine months, though, Amaia has the same eating habits. I’ve been taking Fenugreek just to be on the safe side. I’m also finding it helpful to have a little toy or other object handy to distract the baby while she nurses so that my milk has time to come in. She refuses to drink milk out of anything but the breast (or mixed with cereal), so I can’t even try pumping and feeding her from a cup or straw until we hit the one-year mark. I’m just trying to keep my patience and take it one nursing at a time.

Sleeping

Hallelujah, people! After eight months of interrupted sleep, I’m finally sleeping through the night! And so is the baby! I can’t tell you what a difference a full-night’s sleep makes on my perspective. The baby sleeps from 8pm to about 7:30am. She’s just as awesome as the girls were when they were babies — she just wakes up and mumbles and sings to herself until someone comes to get her.

As far as napping goes, she will no longer doze off in a bouncy seat, so she only takes a morning nap if we’re in the car for longer than 10 minutes in the morning. She always takes a really super awesome three-hour nap in the afternoon from about 1pm – 4pm. It’s heavenly.

Sizes

Though she fits into 9-12 month, Amaia’s on the long side so I have her in 12 month onesies. Her waist and hips are small, though, so she can fit into smaller pants (though I personally believe they use freakishly gigantic babies for pants models — those things are HUGE, right???). She’s in a size 3 diaper. I’m guessing she’s around 17 pounds, but we haven’t had her nine-month appointment yet so I’m not sure. I’m pretty certain she’s lighter than the twins were at this age, though.

Personality

I think this photo says it all about Amaia’s personality:

I’m telling you, this baby is so freaking happy. She smiles and smiles, laughs, talks to herself, sings, dances to music, gleefully kicks her feet and waves her hands. Overall, she’s just a really pleasant, observant, enjoyable baby. She LOVES little kids, especially little girls and, more than anything, her big sisters. She gets pretty freaked out with aggressive little boys, though.

Something noticeable with Amaia is that she’s incredibly attached to me. She often gets really upset if she sees me leave a room. Come dinner time, no one will do but Ama. As soon as I get home from the gym in the evenings, I pretty much have to tote her around until she goes to bed, or else she’ll just whine and cry.

Milestones

Amaia is still just scooting, not crawling. I can’t help but compare to the twins, who were pulling to a stand and trying to stand independently already by now, but I know that Amaia is just doing things her way. She’s a far more sociable baby than the twins were, so it’s just a matter of her individual demeanor.

She has four teeth so far — the bottom two center ones and, oddly, the top center and left incisor. The second top center tooth and right incisor are at the point of breaking through, too. Thankfully, she hasn’t used her teeth while nursing.

Still no hair to speak of. Poor kid.

This month, she also went in a swing for the first time. She LOVED it!

Holy crap, Amaia is six months old??!? How did this happen?

As with the twins, I’ll document basic baby facts here about Amaia’s growth and development. Sorry, not the most thrilling post!

Eating

After a rocky start that included mastitis, thrush, and an inexplicable constant loss of suction during nursing, Amaia is now breastfeeding like a natural. She nurses five to seven times a day, still waking once in the night to feed.

A few days ago, I stocked up on organic baby foods and gave her a first taste of pureed apples. She was six months old and showing all the signs of being ready: sits assisted, no tongue-thrust reflex, very interested in what we’re eating and drinking. The result? Zero interest.

After three failed attempts at apples, I reverted to the basics: cereal thinned with breastmilk, figuring that the familiar taste of milk might make her more amenable to the solid food experience.

Aaaaand that would be a no. Mostly, she just purses her lips shut so tightly, I can’t even get the spoon in.

Schedule

Amaia has a lovely routine:

7/7:30am: Wake, eat

Sometime between 10-11am: Cat nap wherever she is, eat

1pm: Eat, sleep

4:30/5pm: Wake, eat

8:30pm: Eat, sleep

3am: Eat, sleep

Yes, you read that right: She naps for 3-4 hours straight in the afternoon. The twins still nap for about three hours in the afternoon as well. This gives me an extremely welcomed break most days, which allows me to exercise or watch TV.

Milestones

This is where I can’t help but compare Amaia to the twins. She is not nearly as advanced as the twins were. Elise and Althea were rolling all over the place by five months old. Elise started scooting at six months and both twins were practicing sitting up by now. In contrast, Amaia just started rolling from back to belly at five months and is just now rolling more regularly and in her sleep. Though she sits assisted, Amaia is nowhere near sitting on her own.

One thing she does seem to be interested in, though, is pulling her knees under her body and rotating around a lot. Girlfriend’s got some scheming ideas going on.

Now that she is rolling onto her belly during sleep, she has outgrown the bassinet in our room. It’s really time to get her in the crib at night, but the thought of having to leave the bed and trudge to her room to nurse at 3am makes me want to weep. How did I do this with the twins???

Sizes

At her six-month well check today, Amaia was just shy of 15 pounds and was 26.5 inches long. She’s in the 75th percentile for height and below the 50th for weight. She’s moving on to size 3 diapers and is in 6-9 month clothes.

Though our current pediatrician and I discussed sizes and growth charts with the twins early on, I think we’ve really come to understand each other and he gets my confidence in my ability to nourish my kids. I can’t tell you what a relief it is to have a supportive doctor who takes the time to look at the baby’s overall growth pattern, as well as the size of the parents, rather than just the percentage on a chart.

Personality

Okay, there’s going to be some comparison here too.

Elise and Althea are serious kids. In unfamiliar situations and with new people, they are reluctant, quiet and sometimes lack self-confidence. They are extremely attuned to people’s energy and will react accordingly. They are happy kids but, in general, they’ve never been particularly quick to smile.

Amaia, on the other hand, is what my mother-in-law calls a Personality Plus. This baby is HAPPY. She smiles and squeals and laughs at strangers. When her sisters pay her even the slightest attention, she lights up like a thousand candles. Indeed, she LOVES LOVES LOVES her sisters and all little kids. She’s very friendly and outgoing — much different from the twins.

I mean, seriously. Look at this baby. That is sheer JOY.

Woohoo!! Amaia is eight weeks old!

I’m excited because, though she’s clearly still a tiny baby, she’s no longer really a newborn and it’s starting to show. She sleeps better, she eats better, she doesn’t cry as much. I sometimes feel like we might be able to survive this after all.

Sleeping

Amaia is technically sleeping through the night! But not really! Because according to some idiotic pediatrician who smartly decided to remain nameless, sleeping through the night is a mere five or six hours. Still, I won’t complain. She usually gets in a good five-hour stretch after going to bed for the night. I’ll take it.

Eating

I’m feeding her 7-9 times a day. Her problem with losing suction during feedings seems to get a little bit better each week. She still doesn’t have any problems with diaper output or weight gain (she’s at about 10 pounds now), so I think we’re just riding it out.

Schedule

Over the past couple of weeks, she’s fallen into a relatively predictable pattern. For bedtime, I noticed she was falling asleep around 9pm, so I embraced that and started a nighttime routine. And without any prompting or pushing, she takes a long afternoon nap starting at 2pm, pretty much on the dot. (I had her on her playmat one afternoon as I put Althea and Elise down for their nap, and at 2pm exactly, Amaia zonked out for her nap, too. YAY.)

This is MAJOR because it’s Elise and Althea’s usual naptime too, which means Mom gets a nice break from all three kids almost every day.

There is a god.

Anyhow, the general-ish routine — which is totally flexible, probably unreliable, and completely subject to change at any minute — goes:

8/8:30am – wake and eat

10am – eat and sleep

12pm – wake and eat

2pm – eat and sleep

6/7pm – wake and eat

8:30/9pm – eat and sleep

3/3:30am – eat and sleep

Milestones

Amaia is smiling more and cooing when she’s in a good mood. She has also discovered her hands, which are quite delicious by the looks of it.

Amaia’s pretty strong, lifting her head up like she owns it or something. She has a lot more head control; I can hold her upright and she’ll check stuff out. She LOVES looking all over the place like a big girl. Actually, she’s pretty much ready to beat your ass if you look at her sideways.

The best part is that the daily crying and screaming is getting less intense, little by little. What a relief! It’s still a toss-up as to whether she’ll scream her face off in the car seat, though. I really (really) hope she outgrows that soon, because my head is about to explode into tiny chunks of brain matter all over the inside of the family van.

Yesterday marked the girls’ final month of their second year. Today marks the 31st week of my second pregnancy.

31 Weeks

Baby girl is getting big in my belly these days. As I suspected based on some incredibly painful movements last week, she has flipped head down. Fingers crossed she stays that way. Considering she’s approximately the size of a college football linebacker, I think she will.

I’m still sleeping well. Eating gets a little sketchy at night. Tums are still my (second) dessert most nights.

Despite pouring on skin oils and potions, I think the stretch marks are spreading rapidly to encompass a gigantic circle around my entire midsection now. I honestly can’t even think about it.

Now that the single-digit countdown has begun, the excitement is getting a little bit overwhelming.

23 Months

I’ll go ahead and get all cliche and say I can’t believe that the girls will be two years old next month. I haven’t done a monthly update on them in a long time. Skip it if it’s not your thing.

Eating

While there’s little that the girls can’t eat these days, there’s tons they won’t eat. Namely, most everything. Boy oh boy, can eating be a battle. They seem to be able to subsist on grape parts and stale cereal from the floor.

Currently, the girls won’t touch pretty much anything they don’t recognize. It was really frustrating at first, but I’m slowly letting go of that stress. As far as I remember, I lived off chocolate for approximately 13 years of my life, so I assume they’ll be fine.

Sleeping

I’ve been told that dreaming begins at about this age, and I think that explains why the girls sometimes stir out of sleep in fits of screaming and crying. Generally, we have to let them cry it out for a few minutes because trying to comfort them almost always makes it worse since they weren’t really awake to begin with.

The girls sleep from 8 p.m. to 7:30 a.m. and nap once from about 1 – 4 p.m.

Sizes

Still size four diapers. Starting to push into 24 month/2T clothes and size 6-7 shoes.

Talking

Some time back, I wrote about my vague worry about the girls’ lack of speech. Silly, silly me. A few weeks after writing that post, I swear the girls woke up one morning and decided to try out the whole verbal communication thing. Since then, they’ve become little parrots, repeating all sorts of words (some of them unsavory) in all sorts of languages.

Most of their spoken vocabulary and comprehension is in Spanish right now. I’d estimate they regularly say around 50 words, with probably another 15-20 infrequent and one-off words as well. In English, they readily use maybe 15 words. In both languages, though, they understand a ton and can follow (or ignore) directions.

Contrary to what I was warned about twins, Elise and Althea don’t have a special language of made-up words. There are only a few invented words that they regularly use, but we’ve figured out what they mean.

Recently, Althea figured out how to meaningfully count to two. I know other kids of the same age who can repeat numbers as high as up to 20 or more, but they’re not necessarily using the numbers meaningfully (i.e., they can recognize the number 20 can’t count out 20 beads). My little genius, though, can count to TWO, bitches. First, she started by trying to count these two distinct moles I have on my neck. She pointed to each one and said “Uno, uno.” Then a few days ago, she saw the two outdoor cats together. She pointed to each one and said “Uno, dos.”

Application to MENSA, sent.

Personalities

This could (and should) really be its own post, but I’ll touch on it here.

The girls get along great for the most part, but they are two very different people. Elise is more intense and attached to the family and people she’s familiar with. She likes to take you by the hand to play and explore. Althea, on the other hand, is more independent. She enjoys playing alone. She likes watching older kids and wants to interact with them. Althea is also always covered in some kind of scratch, bump or bruise.

Ironically, though, Elise is the messier of the two girls. She wears her food, digs in the dirt, lays belly-down in the sand and rubs mud in her hair. She’s a very tactile person. While Elise smears yogurt all the way out to her ears, Althea concentrates on keeping her food on the spoon to eat correctly.

Of the two, Elise is more likely to stick close by and follow directions. But Althea . . . man. She sees you coming for her and she takes off as fast as she can in the other direction, laughing like a madwoman all the way. And while Althea does get in “trouble” more often, she does nothing with malice. Her rebellion is full of exuberance and joy, which can be as maddening as it is completely endearing.

Once again, I’ve been slacking on monthly progress reports, so here you go. If you’re not into this sort of thing, then skip it.

The girls turned 18 months old last week. At their well-visit with the pediatrician, I made their next appointment for November. It almost blew right past me that this will be their two-year well check. TWO YEARS OLD. This makes me panic.

Anyhow. Moving on.

Eating

As I reported a little while back, I weaned the girls at 16.5 months (and promptly got pregnant on that same cycle). They just drink whole milk, some juice and water now.

Eating has gotten pretty casual with them. They graze most of the day, maybe sitting down for real meals a few times a week. This hasn’t posed a problem with eating out — they actually do really great when we eat out, only whining or fussing if they’re exhausted.

I think they recently came out of a growth spurt because there were a few weeks there where they were eating and drinking like insatiable hogs. In the past few days, it’s slowed down to a more manageable pace.

They will eat or try most anything we give them. We’re super lucky in this department.

Sleeping

Luckily, no complaints here either. They go to bed between 7 – 8 p.m. and sleep till 7 – 8 in the morning. I think they have dreams now, because someone will occasionally wake up in a state of terror.

Just one nap, generally 3 hours in the early afternoon.

Sizes

They’re both just over 22 pounds and 32 inches tall, so still in the 25% percentile for weight and 50% for height. They wear 18 month clothes, size 5 shoes and size 4 diapers.

Communication

This is one topic where I find myself comparing the girls to other kids and I HATE doing that.

I speak exclusively in Spanish to the girls, while Chris mixes English, some Spanish and some Greek to them. Then throw in more Greek, Spanish and even French with my in-laws and my mom, and we’re all over the place. I totally encourage it. Everything I’ve ever read encourages it. The pediatrician encourages it. I have ZERO issue with it.

But along with living in a multi-lingual family comes a delay of some vocabulary and I sometimes have to remind myself of that. Normally I don’t even think about it. It’s when I’m around other kids in single-language households — kids who understand all sorts of words and commands, who speak quite a bit — that I have to cover my ears.

Right now, I’d say the girls have about 20 words in Spanish and English that they can say, but they understand a lot. Good enough for me.

Challenges

This is a new topic for me in these monthly overviews because “real” challenges are just starting to emerge.

Behavior is a big one. Honestly, the girls have not been awful so far. Far from it, really. The things we’re dealing with right now is the occasional throwing of toys and food, some light hitting (to each other and to me and Chris, but no issues with other kids), and some tantrums (at bedtime and when we make them do something they don’t want to do — duh).

Mostly, we just take it in stride. Chris is pretty good about keeping his cool. I lose my patience sometimes, especially if there’s a lot of crying/whining involved. I just try to remind myself that this too shall pass, they’re very little still and don’t have the tools and vocabulary to deal with things. Pretty much 100% of what they do is completely, totally normal and is to be expected. Breathe. Cry. Repeat.

Personalities

Sigh, where do I start? They are just amazing little girls.

Elise is so sweet. She loves to love people and things. She loves her blankie, she loves Daddy, she loves sucking her thumb. She likes to rest and observe. When we walk into a new situation, she’ll often hang back and stand in one spot for a while, watching what everyone else is doing before making her move.

What’s most salient about her personality is how detail oriented she is. In a room full of activity, Elise will find the little piece of lint in the corner and will study it for ages. She’ll turn it over in her hands, talk to it, show it to you for your opinion. One time, she fell off a chair, flat on her face. She didn’t cry because she was instantly distracted by a little stick she found in the carpet. She LOVES to read, both to herself and being read to.

Meanwhile, Althea tends to be more outgoing and big-picture. She’ll wave “hi” to everybody around her. We walk into a new situation and she’ll charge right in, finding someone or something to play with. She sings and shrieks and bursts into laughter. She dances and claps. She puts on a show and makes silly faces. Her sense of humor is already evident, too, and she loves making people laugh. Her favorite person in the whole world is Daddy.

What’s interesting is that, just because Elise tends to be more subdued doesn’t mean that she’s more compliant. Of the two, Elise is more likely to not want to follow directions. If we’re at a park, for instance, and I start walking away to get everyone to the car, Althea will follow and Elise will stay back and do whatever she damn well pleases. She has a strong independent streak to her and likes to do things her way. Althea is more likely to imitate and do things when asked (well, as much as an 18 month old will follow directions), though she does tend to be more destructive.

I don’t want to categorize either of the girls as the “outgoing one” or the “quiet one,” because it’s simply not true. There are times when Althea breaks down and Elise is in charge. Althea often initiates kissing and hugging with her sister, even though Elise tends to be “softer.”

Just goes to show that, no matter how much we want to label twins, no matter how much we culturally romanticize the notion of twinship, twins — yes, even identical ones — are very much two different people.

(I haven’t done a general health/habits post in ages, so bear with me if you’re not into this sort of thing.)

The girls turned 15 months old last week. I’m starting to feel like a legitimate parent with actual, like….kids. While sharing a park with some morose-looking teenagers a few weeks ago, I had one of those out-of-body experiences where it hit me: I was no longer that rebellious, chain-smoking, misunderstood teen; I was now “that lady with kids,” a total buzz kill, a bust.

Or whatever kids are saying these days.

Anyhow, moving along….

General stats

As of this morning’s well-check, the girls have finally broken the 20-pound mark.  Both are at about 20lbs 5oz, which puts them, as usual, in the 10th percentile (20th if you go by the WHO breastfed baby charts). Both are measuring almost 30.5 inches (50th percentile).

They’re fitting comfortably in 12-18 months clothes and are now in size 4 diapers.

Sleeping

The days of two, two-hour naps every day are behind us, sadly. During the past six weeks or so, their morning nap got later and the afternoon nap phased out. Problem is, now they get super cranky and tired in the early evenings. It’s a bit of a rough transition. Their general routine is:

7:30 a.m. – Wake, nurse
8:30 a.m. – Breakfast
10:30 a.m. – Nap
12:00 p.m. – Wake, sometimes nurse
12:30 p.m. – Lunch
1:00 – 4:00 p.m. – Out and about
4:30/5:00 p.m. – Evening meltdowns begin
6:30 p.m. – Bath, nurse, read books
7:00 p.m. – Bed

I’m thinking it’s time to move up bedtime. I just keep forgetting. Aside from the occasional bad dream or teething, they still sleep solidly through the night.

Eating

We’re down to nursing two or three times a day. They don’t drink much whole milk, though — maybe three or four ounces a day. They just don’t seem to like it much, which is fine with me because the organic stuff is expensive.

They eat pretty much anything in the way of solids — that is, when they’re not scooping up food and dropping it over the side of the high chair. I still haven’t given them any nuts, honey or soy. They’re pretty good at using a fork and spoon, though I don’t offer utensils all the time.

Personalities and behavior

I hate to continue to peg one twin as “the happy twin” or “the serious twin.” They both have their own sense of humor, likes and dislikes, funky moods.

Elise loves: sleeping, birds, swings, avocados, squash, sucking her left thumb (so much that it has a callous), bananas, being held, dance and music, Yo Gabba Gabba, reading

Althea loves: avocados, Yo Gabba Gabba, reading, sucking on her sleep sack (which both girls now use as blankies), bananas, swings, kitties, making people laugh, playing in the sand, pointing at different body parts

As I posted earlier, we’re going through a pretty exhausting clingy phase. And tantrums are becoming pretty commonplace, though they’re thankfully short and not terribly loud. Althea’s tantrums remind me of those weird fainting goats — she arches her body backward, then slowly and dramatically lays on the ground, carefully placing her head down so as not to hurt herself. Meanwhile, Elise opens her mouth into a perfect “O,” turns bright red and cries.

Milestones

The girls are excellent walkers; people actually comment on how mature their walking skills are. There’s none of the tip-toeing or awkward knee-bending of a toddler. They can go up and down stairs (well, when they notice the stairs), get off beds and couches by themselves and sit on rocking horses the right way (which was apparently a difficult concept to grasp).

They don’t have many words yet. Both girls say Daddy, but only Althea says Ama. They both say bebe (baby),  “bah” for ball and “peh” for pelo (hair). But they understand a lot. They can point to their hair, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, tongue, feet, hands, stomach and bellybuttons (all in Spanish, I might add!). They recognize that a baby can exist in various places and in various forms — as a picture on the yogurt container, or a cartoon on TV, or a real baby in person. They know when it’s mealtime and bathtime. They understand sientate (sit down), and they raise their feet to put on socks and shoes.

I know that they understand “no,” mainly because it’s their favorite word to use and their favorite command to defy.