Acupuncture FTW

Since you haven’t heard from me in a while, I figured I’d just jump straight into an update on my ovaries.

I’ve written several times about my mittleschmerz, a.k.a. My Horrific/Satanic Ovulation Pain from the Inferno. Ever since I stopped taking birth control pills back in late 2007, I experience a tremendous pain during ovulation. It ┬ástarted out as a twinge on the ovulating ovary, followed by a sharp, unbelievably painful, piercing pain through the side of my abdomen down through my cervix for about 36-48 hours. Imagine being stabbed with a burning sword at an angle through your torso. Something like that.

It’s gotten worse after each pregnancy. When my period came back after Amaia was born, the pain started lasting longer and got more intense. Then, the real shit hit when my cycles came back 11 months after having Elias.

Let me describe the pain to you in two words: HOLY. SHIT. Also, FUCKING. RIDICULOUS.

It begins as a cramp in the center of my uterus starting a full week before ovulation. It grows more and more crampy and painful throughout the week. Then, about two days before ovulation, the stabbing begins, culminating in labor pains. I am not exaggerating. I have given birth to four children and it is the same pain as active labor, only my uterus is a lot smaller. I can’t walk, talk, go to the bathroom, nothing. One time, I had to abandon a shopping cart and drive myself home because I couldn’t stand on my feet anymore. The pain is THAT debilitating.

On the one hand, the ovulation pain has helped me get to know my cycle extremely well. I know exactly when I ovulate, I know exactly how long my cycle is, and when my period will begin and end. I could practically set a clock to my cycle, it’s so regular.

I’ve mentioned the pain to my OB before. The only thing he offered was a shrug and some ibuprofen. I’ve tried Advil, Percoset, and Vicodin. Nothing touches this pain. I would literally need an epidural to take it away.

So, you get the picture? Pain. Lots of it. For a long time. Just to release one microscopic little ova.

Two months ago, I mentioned my problem to the woman who does my needles at the acupuncture clinic. She suggested doing some points on my belly before ovulation.

The first time, there was a DRAMATIC reduction in pain. I went from not being able to stand the previous cycle, to having a manageable cramp after my first acupuncture treatment.

I had the points done again five days before my ovulation date this cycle. Two new words for you: NO. PAIN. Also, FUCK. YEAH.

if I didn’t know my cycle as well as I do, I wouldn’t have even known I’d ovulated. Unreal.

So, if you’ve stumbled across my blog by accident, or if you also suffer from mittleschmerz, there you have it: acupuncture. Try it.


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