In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I’m sharing a photo of Amaia drinking a bottle of breastmilk.
I had an extraordinarily difficult breastfeeding relationship with Amaia, one that left me in tears nearly every time I would nurse her. (I wrote about it here.) It was a sort of trauma on me. When Elias was first born, the feeling of dread would well up anew and I would feel frozen in fear of reliving the experience with him.
Luckily, nursing Elias has been awesome. But I still occasionally feel sadness about how bad things were with Amaia.
I’ve recently found my mama redemption in being able to give Amaia bottles of my breastmilk. Sometimes I’ll defrost a bag of milk especially for her and she feels so special to drink her bottle of milk. Other times, she’ll drink a leftover bottle that Elias didn’t finish.
It’s been a bit of healing for me to know that, even though I didn’t nurse Amaia as long as I would have liked, I’m still able to provide her with some of my milk in a different way.