We Like to Party

Between the twins’ birthday party last month, and the baby getting ready to turn one in just a couple of days (OMFG ONE WOT???), we are seriously broke in party mode around here.

With having the extra party now to do every year, I’m starting to learn a little about pulling off a kids’ birthday party. Now, I’m no expert. I have hosted a whopping four parties in three years. But I’m a quick study!

Now, chances are, all the stuff I’m about to share with you is blindingly obvious to everyone else. But, to me, it wasn’t. So I’m just passing along the information in case it helps someone else out.

The twins’ birthday party this year was at a local park. I was FREAKING OUT because I’m bi-polar not taking meds. I am NOT a kids’ party-planning person. I don’t do themes, I have no organizational skills, I don’t know how to decorate and I hate the outdoors. Last year, we had their party at an indoor kids’ gym where everything was done for me. The year before that was a gathering at our house (wherein I was cruelly introduced to the necessity of a theme for a child’s birthday party).

So, an outdoor party, planned entirely by me, to accommodate about 40 adults and children? Well, this was going to be interesting.

My experience so far has been that, out of your invite list, maybe 75% of people say they can attend, and only 40% of those people actually show up. So, I scaled back the food and party favors slightly.

Lesson #1: DO NOT SCALE BACK FOOD AND PARTY FAVORS SLIGHTLY.

Yes, I am shouting! At you! Because you know what happened? Everybody showed up. EVERYBODY. And some of their friends! Seriously, people? When did you actually start showing up when you say you’re going to?

We ran out of food and favors and I felt like a total dick. We seriously had like a slice of cheese and two grapes leftover. Thank god my kids don’t eat sandwiches, because we would have had negative cheese and no grapes leftover.

That brings me to:

Lesson #2: Choose your location wisely, especially if you’re lazy,

and

Lesson #3: Let location dictate theme — or lack thereof.

On the plus side, the park was built-in entertainment. The picnic tables were shaded, so I just sat there all comfortable and mom-like and I didn’t actually have to play with the children even once.

Plus, having the party at a park meant I was off the hook for theme-y decorations. I spent about $40 on tablecloths, two sizes of plates, cups, utensils, two balloon arrangements and a generic “Happy Birthday” banner (which I re-used at Amaia’s party) by buying the generic, birthday-themed supplies at BJ’s instead of the cute, expensive-as-hell theme decorations from the party supply store. In fact, I originally bought a full set of themed decorations for almost $130 at the party store, meaning I saved $90.

Speaking of budget,

Lesson #4: DIY doesn’t always mean savings.

I may have saved on decorations, but we actually spent a lot more money by doing it all ourselves. The kids’ gym party last year cost about $325 total, including our gifts to the kids, party favors, cupcakes, balloons, and food for the adults (the kids’ food was included in the gym rental).

The DIY park party cost closer to $500. You know, because we have $500 just laying around. Renting the stupid picnic tables alone cost $110 for four hours, and that didn’t include jack shit except the right to tell people to get the hell off our tables (WHICH I DID).

Now, for Amaia’s first birthday party, I invited some of the twins’ friends over for a cupcake-decorating party. As I Googled ideas for party favors and crafts, I came across the idea of giving every child an apron that they could decorate themselves and take home, along with extra cupcakes, as their favor.

I loved the idea. Not only was it a welcome relief from the bags of throw-away trinkets that you get at most parties, but it would actually end up being cheaper than the party favor bags.

I got a dozen colorful aprons on Amazon for a mere $9.50 shipped (with Amazon Prime; price of the apron will fluctuate a bit). I paid less than $5 for the cupcake supplies. Considering a party favor bag full of crap will run you in the range of $2-3 per bag, this was a big savings.

Then, I had another idea: What if I personalized every apron by stenciling each child’s name on it beforehand? Wouldn’t that be awesome?!??

Then: Am I out of my fucking mind? What business do I have with paint and stencils? I can barely dress myself, let alone create something that involves color coordination and, like, not writing like a five year old.

Lesson #5: You, too, can stencil.

Holy shit you guys, my stenciled aprons came out awesome. Check it out.

Okay, so you could totally see the pencil lines where I lined up the letters. And I smeared the paint on most of them. And a couple of them came out downright ugly and I felt really bad giving it the kid. BUT. I fucking stenciled, people. STENCILED.

The point is, it’s okay to step out of your comfort zone for your kids. Just don’t expect perfection and make no apologies for it.

For crafts, the older kids got to decorate their own cupcakes and totally fuck up all my stencil work draw on their aprons (I bought fabric markers for that — no way was I going to have a dozen three-year-old kids running around with fabric paint in the house).

I was a bit nervous about the kids getting to work with food and frosting and whatnot. But, thankfully, I was wrong!

Lesson #6: Decorating food can actually be a very do-able and not-too-messy craft for little kids who dirty everything else up.

For toppings, I put out bowls of gummy bears, colored marshmallows, rainbow sprinkles, crushed Oreos, plain M&M’s, and these seasonal gingerbread-man marshmallows. The kids had a BLAST. There really was minimal mess, and only one kid took a scoop of sprinkles and ate it directly. (Side note: I would suggest cutting the Oreos into recognizable pieces; no one used them and now I have a bag of crushed Oreos I refuse to throw out.)

The party turned out great and we had a ton of food left over, thanks to the aforementioned fact that I’m a quick study and I over-planned the food this time. Which reminds me,

Lesson #7: Pizza is cheaper than sandwiches

Shop around for the main course if you don’t make it yourself. For instance, around these parts, a deli party sandwich from the popular supermarket, Publix, will run you $19.99 per sandwich, which feeds 8. A comparable sandwich from the less-popular Sweetbay is just $11.99 (also feeds 8).

Now, a one-topping medium pizza from Domino’s, which can also be ordered ahead of time and delivered to your door? $5.55. Also feeds 8.

We basically paid almost half for the food. That’s a big deal, so to speak.

And finally, speaking of food,

Lesson #8: Make your own fruit and vegetable platters

Those fruit and vegetable platters at the supermarket are a major rip, right? And the food is half-old and the dip is nasty, anyway. I comparison shopped between the supermarket sales and the wholesale market, and made gigantic fruit and vegetable trays myself, with premium dipping sauce, for about the same price as the prepared trays — with leftovers.

I chose the fare wisely — only stuff that required minimal or no chopping. For fruit: strawberries (locally grown, even), grapes, and cantaloupe. Veggies: cherry tomatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, and skinny baby carrots.

Everyone had a great time. And you know what? There was no mess difference between two kids or 12. Our house still looked like a complete and total disaster.

Oh, and in case you were wondering . . . Amaia beat the hell out of her cupcake. She may look nothing like me, but she sure knows what to do with her dessert. Happy birthday, little baby.