A Lesson Learned
I hesitate to write this post because it implicates me as a terrible mom, but it’s important enough that I have to share.
We bathe the girls in one tub of water. When Chris isn’t home to help, I’ll take one child out of the tub and plop her on the counter to put on her lotion and brush her teeth while the other child plays in the tub. Then I put the dry baby on the ground and extract baby #2 from the tub, letting the water drain while I do lotion and teeth for her.
Tonight, I had Elise on the counter while Althea was in the tub. The bathroom is fairly small, so the tub is no more than two feet from the sink. Elise was being stubborn about brushing teeth, so I was really absorbed in the task.
I don’t know what happened, but Althea was suddenly coughing up water, struggling to gasp for breath while sputtering and choking in the water.
She was submerged under the water. I don’t know how much time had elapsed. Maybe it was only for a second. Maybe it was three seconds. There were only three inches of water in the tub. Maybe she couldn’t really have drowned. Maybe she could have. But she was clearly choking on water that she’d inhaled while I was two feet away from her.
I WAS TWO FEET AWAY FROM HER. In the same room. Alive and conscious and sober and able to pay close attention to her, but I wasn’t.
I snatched her up and held her body close while her lungs struggled to expel water and inhale oxygen. I let my mind go there — her life, my life, flashing before me in an instant, overwhelmed with fear and gratitude that the unthinkable hadn’t happened. God and Christ and every other deity existed in that moment because my child was alive.
I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but what happened was fucking terrifying enough for me to have learned a horrible lesson:
The instant bath time is over, DRAIN THE TUB.
Do NOT assume that being in the same room means you’re paying attention.
I thought I was ultra cautious with the girls around water. I’ve never even left them unattended for four seconds to run into their room for a washcloth. I’m just too paranoid.
So what the fuck happened tonight???
People, you CANNOT be too careful around water when children are involved. In my mind, my 20-month-old girls are big and strong and smart enough to extract themselves from a couple of inches of water. Apparently not. Don’t fall into that same trap!
10 comments
Oh honey, hugs hugs hugs. It can happen to anybody. The reminder is totally necessary for ALL OF US! I am so paranoid about water, as well. Don't beat yourself up although, as a mother, I know you'll be reliving that moment again and again for a while. She's okay. She's okay. Forgive yourself. ((hug)). Just to share, my son ran in front of a car pulling out of the drive through at McDonald's, complete with screeching tires and me screaming. He pulled away as soon as I opened the door. I was RIGHT THERE. I had our baby in the car seat so was all bulky and he darted right out. The car stopped inches from him. I will never forget that. I feel so much for you. Over and over I went, as you say, there, and it was horrible. Sorry you had that experience.
I've forgotten to buckle Josie into her car seat. She's old enough to remind me (yes, it's happened a couple of times), but the other day it happened right before we were faced with a high-speed car chase from the cops. Josie noticed and bucked herself in, but moments later we could have been going around the bend in the road and the perp could have been trying to elude the cops and could have hit us (as he hit another car down the street minutes later) and she could have flown right through the windshield. But she didn't. Lesson learned.
Did you read about those 2-year-old twin girls who drowned in their pool while their mom was at home last week. I mention it only because it scares the shit out of me and I hope it scares the shit out of enough parents that everyone keeps their toddlers safe from their pools.
I am sitting here with tears in my eyes reading this. With as many times as I have folded clothes in the doorway of the bathroom while the boys have bathed, I know it could just as easily have happened to me. I think almost all moms have had a moment where they have thanked every deity for saving the life of their child. I remember all too clearly the moment my husband jerked my arm back as I was about to give my 2 week old the medicine meant for his brother, 2 1/2 yrs old. I was sleep deprived (not an excuse), and the older one had RSV. I can't remember anything else except those moments of fear and realization. It was terrifying.
And, as for our bathing habits, no more folding clothes for me. I will sit right beside them ready to spring into action. The laundry can pile up. Thank you for your honesty. You never know who may be saved by it. Maybe my own child. Thank you.
Holy. crap. So glad you were in the same room! So so so glad. Thank you for this post – I'll be tweeting it all day long!
Last weekend we were all swimming, lots of people were over and I was vigilant about watching Lexi (the 2 year old) while we were around the pool. She's braver than her sister and doesn't quite realize what happens if you don't have help – me – when swimming. We were returning to the pool from another activity and I got distracted talking to some friends on the deck, and I was watching her, but not super closely, and she walked over to the ladder, and walked right off of it into the pool. She went under, not for long, and I leaped in next to her and yanked her up. Luckily she either held her breath or just wasn't in long enough to choke on any of it, but she was certainly surprised and I was terrified for that 10 seconds. They're so quick, even watching them 100% of the time still means you get surprised at least a few times. She wears a speedo swimsuit with some floats right inside of it, so the suit would have brought her back to the surface..but not fast enough for me. I wanted to close the pool after that – but I didn't. She's fine.Your girls are fine. And probably you both learned a lesson about water. Althea is ok. You're a great mom.
Praise yee sista! Water still terrifies me and mine are 5 and 3. They both take a bath together (I realize my time is very limited on that one). I do take Isabella out first and help her get dressed and while I'm doing this Joey stays in the tub watching the water drain….Sometimes he pees and I have to turn the water on to rinse him off…..but that's some scary stuff!
I'm glad to hear your baby is doing well and 'that' didn't happen!!
You're a good mom because you heard that she needed help at just the right time and did what you needed to do to help her!
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Oh lady. I'm so sorry you went through this. All of us have experienced this dark, ALMOST moments. And they're HORRIBLE.
Thank you for being brave enough to share this story and remind us to be alert and awake.
I'm sorry you had to experience that sound. Its horrible and I have been there. I think as parents we need to stop and remind ourselves that water is still dangerous even in our own bathrooms. I am glad you were right there, i know of others who don't stay in the bathroom at all times during bathtime. If I need to leave I call up daddy for relief.
Scary!
Since I have found this post (link following) about drowning, I am reposting it whenever I can: http://mariovittone.com/2010/05/154/
Oh my! I am so glad you were right there! ((hugs))
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