Speak!
July 7, 2010 14 Comments
Along with my conviction to cook at home most of the time (which, by the way, has been mostly successful so far), I have declared war on baby speak.
The girls grunt, whine and cry when they want something. They’ll run to the fridge and cry while trying desperately to pry it open. They’ll let out a little “Nnn! Nnnn!” when they want us to do or get something. Then we spend the next eight minutes trying to guess what they want.
Maybe I’m asking too much, but I would think at almost 20 months old, my kids could respond to very simple sentences with familiar words by saying or nodding “yes” or “no.”
Here’s how it goes:
The girls run to the fridge and pull at the door while screaming/crying. I walk over and say:
“Quieres leche?” (“Do you want milk?”)
Blank stare.
“Quieres leche?”
Stare.
“Quieres LECHE?”
Stare.
“LECHE? LECHE? Queires? LECHE?”
Stare.
“QUIERES???? LECHE????? LECHE????”
Stare.
Sigh. Why is this not working?
Take out the sippy cups.
“QUIERES???? LECHE?????” while emphatically nodding and saying “Sí? Sí? Quieres leche???”
Stare.
“QUIERES???? LECHE????? SI??? SI????”
Stare.
Take out the carton of milk.
“QUIERES???? LECHE?????”
Stare.
“SI?? SI??? QUIERES???? LECHE????? SI???”
Stare.
Finally yesterday, I held onto their little skulls and nodded their heads up and down while saying “Sí! Sí!”
I then repeated “Quieres leche?”
To which they each grabbed hold of their chins and pushed their little heads up and down.
That’ll show you and your idiotic yes/no questions.
I also noticed that they can point to all their body parts when you ask them “Where is your hair?” Etc. And they will point to a baby doll’s hair and say the word for it. But when you point to somebody’s hair and ask, “What is this?” they don’t respond.
I don’t know anything about language development. Am I expecting too much in either case (responding to simple yes/no questions or using an existing vocabulary word to respond to a “What is this?” question). I try not to think about this stuff too much — why the hell am I wanting them to talk, anyway? — but I really have no clue what I’m doing over here.
14 comments
I think it's a great idea just to do what you're doing. I have no idea when you can expect them to answer properly to those things. Yes I have two kids, yes one is a 2nd grader, but I still don't know. I also hate the baby talk though. Even the older one still tries to get away with grunts and weird noises as answers to things sometimes, I can't stand it. So I insist they use their words or they don't get whatever the whine means. The smaller one gets a grace period, she's coming up on three, but doesn't always have the right words. Why the hell do you want them to talk indeed. We've entered the 'but why…' stage. It's torturous.
E is almost 15 months and doesn't say jack-crap beyond "uck" for truck. And everything that moves is an "uck." On the other hand, he can identify everyone (Where's abba? Where's mama?) and body parts (Where's your belly?) and some of his stuff (Where's your ball?). Can he SAY those words? No. Will he say "uck" if I ask what a truck is? No.
I know that doesn't help much, but I figured I would just commiserate given that I lack real answers. That, and EVERYONE I know with dual language kids has reassured me that they don't start actually talking until they're two. So the price for eventual language fluency is an extra year of grunting, I guess?
Well duh, your problem is that you're speaking Spanish. They are obviously American Girls. ((Please tell me that is coming off as funny))
Also, the new photo…..I always thought it would be impossible for two kids to look so different, yet so very much alike! They are gorgeous!
Do they say anything at all? They likely won't speak until you MAKE them speak. Which means if they go to the refrigerator they need to say something before you respond…….which means Lots and Lots of tantrums……..Which for me, isn't really worth it…but what do I know? My son is only just now talking and he's 3.
The girls are right on track in my book! You know, that track that has you in a straight jacket before they even turn 13. The receptive and expressive languages are both needed to answer questions. They need to understand what you are asking AND know how to say what they want. It's a lot of work! I wouldn't expect it yet. But, that is a great thing to work on and I find it's easier with signing. You don't have to use the real ASL or "baby sign".
When they want milk (or at least you think they do), instead of having them answer with a head nod, try to move their hand in the sign for milk as you say 'milk'. I think they catch on quicker when they say the object, a noun, instead of yes. However, the word "no" they all seem to understand and say too well and way too often. Darn kids!
Don't sweat it. Tavin didn't say much until he was older, Silas spoke earlier and never shut up, Thad is in between and only in the last 6 months has his vocab really exploded, Heath can say words, does undertand but many of the things end in the scream, grunt…mom, vader, nod…hand up no type of thing. Every kid is different and one day out will come this sentence and whamo you don't recall what it was like to hear grunts instead of words. I did have to laugh at the chin grabs lol. NICE! I can only say a few non english words to the kids, you are doing the girls a real service by speaking to them in more than 1 language.
From my brief stint in cognitive psychology, I do recall that it takes a while for hair-on-doll to translate into the same thing as hair-on-human, something about the inability to form logical connections between objects. Read-up on Jean Piaget
My twins are also 20 months (today!) and they act exactly the same way. They repeat words, but never use them in a meaningful way, except for "please" sometimes (and we only use one language in our house). Sometimes I get so frustrated with the hnnn hnnn hnnn, I'll respond by saying "Use a word, start talking!". I've read that multiples take longer to start talking than singletons too. Not really great advice, but I think they are right on target.
I think the dual language is an amazing gift you can give them, but I do think it will contribute to a delay in speech. That isn't said in a bad way, just matter of fact way. I also agree that there is a difference in receptive language and expressive language. Asking them to point to hair is an appropriate response, but asking them to listen to the question, process it, physically form the word and respond is a whole other beast. I think you are most liklely age appropriate still.
(have to break this up…)
My twins are 4.5 now. At 26 months old, we had Carl assessed because he only had ~10 words. We thought he may have a hearing issue, but that was not the case. We began speech therapy and another therapy (Play Therapy – he did not qualify at that time for OT, so the Play Therapy was another way to get more language and social therapy sessions in) at that point.
If your concerns continue to grow, you can always ask your peditrician for a referral to your Early Intervention team for an assessment. Go in with your eyes open. I'd say before age 2 is too young to worry, too. Every child progresses in their own time. But, I can tell you from my experience, it is so hard not to compare twins' development against each other.
(need another box to finish…)
You might want to keep a notebook of dates/ages/words/understanding levels just to have on hand. Most likely, you do not need it, but when I had to go back and remember when he said what, it was nice to have my baby-book-style notes to refer to. Carl has made amazing progress in the past 2 years of speech. We still have 4 therapy sessions per week between pre-school and home. (well, we get a summer vacation break which I have to admit, is a nice break for me)
Now, I have 2 kids I want to scream "SHUT UP!" at most days. Gretchen literally never stops talking. Now, if that is a Girl Thing, You. Are. Doomed! A big part of me wants to tell you – "enjoy the peace and quiet while you can!"
phew!
The End.
one more thing… do plenty of modeling… when you are asking if they want milk… ask them, then give them the words to reply, "Yes, I want milk, please."
Carl's speech therapist only used the signs for 'more' and 'all done'. She did not have us learn any other ones. And Carl always said the word while signing it. The signs didn't last long around here.
I have been following your blog for some time now. I have to say, your vivid essays have provided me with many trips down memory lane (thanks for that, by the way). When my sons (now 20 and 22) were small; there were no blogs to vent my anxieties and frustratons. My guess is that your wit and candor serves as an inspiration to many young women. If you would allow me to pass on one piece of wisdom (lame as it may sound), I can assure you with complete confidence (you will have to trust me on this one) that the girls will talk. They will tell you that they love you. They will tell you that they hate you. You will be their idol. You will be their worst enemy. Oh, and your breast milk vs. cow's milk dilemma? The other morning, when my underaged son (who is home from college for the summer) stumbled through my kitchen door, I was fairly certain that he had not spent the previous night consuming vast quanties of milk with his friends.
I'm so glad you replied Jill. I was actually thinking to myself while writing this, "I'll bet Jill has some insight!" I guess I'm not "worried" so much as curious and wondering if I'm expecting too much.
And thanks for the reminder to enjoy this relative silence while it lasts. Once the "why?" phase starts, I'm pretty sure I'll be committed.
I love love love this reply. Thank you
Some perspective from someone who's been here, done this always brings me back down to earth. Thank you for reading!
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