Cry Me a River
I’ve hesitated to post about this because I thought it was just some random thing. But it’s lingering — no, festering– so I need to share so that I might help other clueless, first-time parents.
The girls’ first year was full of plenty of tribulation, but overall, it was relatively easy as far I imagined raising twins would be.
Now? Ummm, not so much. For the past month or so, the girls have shown that they are regular kids.
It started with some extra-needy days. Elise would whimper for attention. Althea would need to be held. Teething, I figured, or just a random needy day. Hell, I’m 32 and I still have those days.
But weeks later, I’m pretty sure this isn’t random.
Some days aren’t too bad. I have to pay more attention to one daughter over the other, or we need to get out for extra playtime to distract. My patience is tried, but not broken.
Other days, though, are exhausting. Ex. Haus. Ting.
From the moment the girls wake up until bedtime some 12+ hours later, it seems like someone is constantly crying, whining, begging and clinging. Demanding to be constantly entertained. Rejecting food and drinks. Pushing the other sister, fighting for my attention, whining for no apparent reason. They’re really starting to understand requests and directives, and they’re blatantly defying them.
It’s maddening. Yet the defiance is somehow more manageable to me than the inexplicable crying.
The inexplicable crying ALL. DAY. LONG.
When Chris checks in with me during the week and asks how the girls are doing, I try to explain to him how tenuous my nerves are:
“I’m about to lose it.”
“Incessant crying since 9 a.m. Where are you?”
“Contemplating taking a leisurely walk on I-75 during rush hour. Leaving the girls at Toys R Us.”
From my conversations with other moms, this clingy-crying stage is painfully common at this 1+- year-old mark. Thing is, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t end.
Ever.
12 comments
Please tell me you too have the car accident fantasy. I get it around about 10 am(just before nap time) and 4:15 when they're cranky and hungry but it's too early for dinner and even the magic of Elmo won't get them to stop whining. You know, the one where you wish you would end up in the hospital, just for a few days–nothing serious–just a few days so you can just be alone, not reading Gossie and Gertie for the 10th time or not making a grilled cheese sandwich that will just get thrown on the floor. A few days where you don't get the sinking feeling in your stomach when they wake up after only 45 minutes.
Just me?
A lot of this will get better as they become more verbal. This toddler year is amazingly hard and incredibly fun. They are finding themselves and their own place in this world. It's fun to watch, and yet often, difficult to survive. That is my favorite age to teach in early childhood. Everything is new and fun and they still find you cool and "one of them". Now, for those first time moms…. oh boy… just wait until they turn 3! I am still amazed I survived ~2.5 – 4! Maybe it's that I am amazed that the twins survived until age 4!! (It is getting better…phew) You will long for the days of 15 months!!!
THANK YOU for posting this!!!! I have been reading all of your posts since you were pregnant, but rarely comment. This one is dead on. My twins are 3wks younger than yours and I too have been experiencing the same thing for quite some time. It is truly exhausting. I feel like I have been complaining forever and am just not cut out for motherhood. I am good about being patient and regrouping, but it really gets you down at times. I feel like every day is Groundhog Day. I remember one or two posts where you have talked about having more children. I was stunned and remember thinking you must be Super Mom. I can't even imagine. I really think you are a Super Mom though. You seem to take such good care of your girls and love them so much.
On another note…. you haven't posted much about their schedule recently. What type of napping/feeding routine are they on? I switched my twins to one nap a day. I think I might have pulled the trigger a little too soon. Hang in there.
Oh forgot to add….
I have found when my kids get unusually fussy they will settle down if I put on the Baby Genius Favorite Children's Songs. My babies don't like cartoons so this DVD works well since they are little kids singing the songs and dancing around. I highly recommend it: http://www.overstock.com/Books-Movies-Music-Games...
They also like Barney a lot.
My kids were just the opposite…..the first year to year and a half were the most horrible days ever in the history of mankind. They were needy and screamed all day long and at times all night long too. They were so much of a handful that I thought that I wouldn't make it through the next five seconds let alone the next day, week, or ….year…..Yikes. But they turned 2 or got closer to 2 and when I was ready for even worse days to come 'terrible twos', I was scared for my life. But something happened. They mellowed out and started listening and started playing on their own…..and life got oh so much better. My daughter is almost 5 and amazing and wow! My son is almost 3 and oh so much better than this time last year………….
LOL!! No car accident fantasy, but I do have a flu-or-other-debilitating-but-temporary-illness fantasy. Funny thing — I volunteered to give blood just so I'd have 30 minutes of peace.
I was actually getting ready to do a schedule/catch-up post this week. The girls have their 15-month well-check on Thursday so I wanted to be able to post their weights and growth.
Oh, and the kids thing? That is another post in the making, too. I must have been out of my mind to want more kids so soon.
Thanks so much for commenting and reading. Congrats on your twins!
Tell me they love Biz Markie's beat of the day as much as i do!
I have just one and she's just recently become less of a bear all the time. The constant whining is ridiculous and I truly cannot decide which is worse, constant whining or full out crying. I feel the same way as the rest of your commenters, wishing for a minor illness or accident to take me out of the scene for a few days or so, feeling like a bad mom because I let them make me insane.
This too shall pass. Or so they tell me.
Oh god, I hope I survive, too! I assumed a big part of it must be the lack of language communication. I can tell that they're "getting" how to communicate, but cant' articulate anything. I have a lot of patience, but it's definitely tough!
It's Yo Gabba Gabba here. The girls go NUTS for it. We don't watch much TV so it really grabs their attention. I think they'd love that kids song DVD though, too. Thanks for the rec.
Thankful I only have 1 at this age right now!!!!! My poor 3yr old doesn't know what to do. Then again, 3 is not fun either, but 3 yr olds are hilarious! They make up for their wrong doings by total sweetness and jokes. What helped when he was 1 was sign language. The shrieking subsided once he could sign "help", but we had to keep our eyes on him to see it. Can't say it made it all better though. And yes, my sweet darlings have brought me to tears of frustration many times.
My coworker's wife broke her wrist (accidentally). Turns out there is a LOT of stuff you can't do with a broken wrist. Did you know you can't change a poopy diaper? Someone has to do it for you. Hmmm… Supposed to get winter weather tonight. I think it's time to play on the deck stairs…
We love YGG, too…still! When it first came on, they were about 2, I think and they didn't go for it. But, it grew on all of us. The positive messages, the fun songs – and heck, Lance even picks up his toys at the end of every episode! Good lessons!
(cool new message system)
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