Coming Back from Cali
December 22, 2009 4 Comments
We’re back from our week-long trip to California.
I know! I didn’t even tell you guys. I was just nervous about someone breaking in and stealing all of our . . . books?
Anyhow, we visited my mom in Southern California. The O.C., to be specific. If you’ve seen “Desperate Housewives of Orange County” or “Laguna Hills” or “The O.C.” — yeah, it’s pretty much like that for reals.
I grew up in one of the most white-bread places on earth. Even Daniel Tosh, one of the finest comedians in recent memory, remarked in a stand-up routine that the O.C. is well known for its diversity.
<cue hysterical laughter>
Every California trip prior to this one has been overcast by my sarcasm and disgust for all things Orange County. I was a creative and rebellious teenager in a sterile, cookie-cutter city with one of the lowest crime rates in the nation. No wonder I smoked, boozed and hallucinated my way through high school. I mean, what other way is there to deal with all that . . . pleasantness?
I’ve now lived in Florida for more than seven years. Sure, Florida has its fair share of generic-ness. But the Florida I’ve experienced is different from So Cal. Nowadays, I think neighborhoods with sidewalks are “fancy.” I know what it’s like to be hit by a hurricane. I live within an hour’s drive of the world’s largest Confederate flag.
Oh, and I don’t pay state income tax. Score.
The point of this is to say that things are different for me now. I now have a husband and kids.
So on this trip, all of those stupid Orange County greenbelts and stupid Orange County generic houses and stupid Orange County engineered streetscapes all started looking kind of nice. There were parks everywhere. We took the girls to one park that I used to go to when I was a tweener and it was suddenly way better than I remembered it. There were infant swings and rubber floors and toddler-sized slides and fake sand with no cigarette butts in it.
When workers showed up to blow fallen leaves and dirt off the playgrounds, I was like damn. So that’s where property taxes go.
Later in the week, we went to a regional park that had a freaking choo-choo train and six playgrounds. Six!! ARGH.
Awesome? Of course. It’s a modern mother’s wet dream. Would I move back? Hells to the N-O.
I guess I’ve spent enough time away from So Cal to just see it as it is: Not something awful — just something that didn’t fit me.
As much as I’ve missed seat protectors in every public toilet, liquor sold in grocery stores and legally required smog checks for cars, I couldn’t go back to 18-lane freeways, double-D boob jobs and all that dry air.
I mean, have you seen the O.C. housewives? They age like old beef jerky.
4 comments
It is fun to visit though huh
Sounds like you had a great trip.
Merry Christmas!
I’d love to live in either place. Florida and Southern California. I grew up in a rinky dink town where the crime was extremely low…like zero. There were only white people. On the extreme rare occasion that a black family dare to move in, the hosier rednecks would harass and taunt (so much for ZERO crime?) them until they left. There are now a handful of black families who live in that town. They are amazing families too.
The unspoken truth about that tiny old town is that the poverty rate is horrendous. I remember that on three occasions I had to ride the school bus on the way home for whatever reasons? Anyway, when you live in the boonies and there are only about 3 houses per any square mile, the bus goes far and wide. The bus that I rode went from the most run down neighborhood……then across the county to our neighborhood “Snob Hill” is what all the kids called it. Anyway, in the rundown neighborhood, there were houses where people didn’t have a roof on their home, some were missing windows, most didn’t even have a front door. I doubt they had running water or electricity because the kids smelled horrible and their clothing was filthy.
The sad thing is that today, I doubt it’s much better because nobody cares for for the uneducated poor. America sends out tons of money for kids in Somolia, and various other countries………gives money for various illnesses, but those poor kids, those poor families……
Sarasota TOTALLY has better parks that we do here though.
I’m glad you had a good trip. Hope you’re recovering from your illness and hopefully the girls will start eating better soon. I was curious about your trip to CA and how they did traveling. How did they do on the plane and going through security? I’d love to take a trip with my twins (who are 3 wks younger than yours), but I’m terrified it will be too much for ME to handle.
Leave a Comment