Tuned Out
While the Zoloft is at least doping me up enough to not want to drive off a cliff, I’m having tons of side effects. I’m groggy, tired, run down, hazy, unmotivated. I sleep about four hours before tossing and turning for most of the rest of the night. Plus, it’s making me have to pee a lot at night, so I’m constantly running to the toilet. I was sick to my stomach for several days and could hardly eat anything except Cap’n Crunch.
Is this progress?
My experience is always that the side effects taper off with time, so I assume the same will happen here again. But man . . . I really just want to feel better. I’ve already backed out of a freelance job because I just can’t pull myself together to earn the money. I have another editing job hovering over me that I keep putting off. I skipped a much-needed social opportunity last night because I was just so overwhelmed with sadness and exhaustion that I couldn’t bring myself to leave the house.
I have to get better. I’m so frustrated by my own inability to just fix it already. I want desperately to get out of the house and I just can’t. The thought of having the get everyone and everything ready by myself makes me give up before I even try. I feel horrible that the girls are stuck inside all day because of this awful disorder-thingy.
And ultimately, that empty loneliness inside still nags. The leaden weight of sadness fills my head and trickles down to my limbs, making it impossible to move. This has to go away.
6 comments
umm… i’m going to tread lightly here… and please take what i (and anyone else) offers you in terms of “advice.”
my experience with zoloft was one that made me quite apathetic. i didn’t feel “bad” anymore… but i didn’t feel “better” either. i plain old just didn’t feel at all. it sort of numbed me, if that makes any sense. so i can relate a lot to your description above.
that being said, unfortunately with anti-depressants, it’s a trial and error sort of process to figure out what meds or combination of meds works best for you.
yes, side effects do taper off in time… but how long are you willing to wait becomes the question at hand.
hope i’m not over-stepping my bounds… you’re not alone.
i’m thinking of you.
I’ve been on Zoloft for 5 years (was off when I was pregnant) and just had to increase my dosage. I was on 50mg for 4 years, but the last few months have upped it to 100mg.
I wouldn’t be myself without it.
Off of Zoloft (when I’m too lazy to get a re-fill), I’m snappy, unhappy, dizzy, and tired.
On Zoloft, I stay even-headed. I compare it to being between a 3-8 on a 1-10 scale (1 being totally depressed and 10 being totally happy). It doesn’t allow me to get too happy (which sucks) but it also keeps me functioning day to day.
I was on Celexa before my first pregnancy, and that worked for me as well. It really is a trial/error deal with anti-depressants, but I encourage you to stick with the Zoloft for at least a month or so. It does take time for your body to become acclimated. While it does, you’ll feel dizzy, tired, have ‘zings’ through your brain, and be unmotivated. But that’s probably just the acclimation.
It totally and completely sucks to have to take something to function, but for me, it works. I wish I didn’t have to take it. But I do.
I hope you find what works best for you. Feel free to email me about it if you need.
Ugh, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I hope the meds even things out with time, or at least help you get by until you can figure out another course of treatment. I’m thinking of you . . .
I’m glad you posted. I’ve been thinking about you and wondering how things are going.
And the Internet has been overwhelming for me so I’ve been avoiding just EMAILING or IMING you like a normal person to ask. Sigh.
I hope the side effects taper off. From what I’ve read, it takes at least a week. I know it must be a very long week for you already.
The girls will not remember being cooped up for a week or even a month. You’re doing all that you can do.
I also hope you find a therapist again that you get along with and work well with. Does your OB practice recommend anyone? The lady I found came from their recommendation and I really like her.
i love you, sweetie. like the kittie on the with his paw on the branch, hang in there.
I’m on my way…mind, body, and soul. loveyoutothemoonandback
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