Comments on: Big Sigh

By: Shoshana Bennett

Shoshana Bennett — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 00:12:37 +0000

Your frustration is totally understandable. You deserve proper help with a therapist who specializes in this field. For many reasons, moms of mulitples are high risk for depression in pregnancy as well as postpartum depression, and there are simple, specific steps you can take right now to alleviate your depression as well as to help prevent mood problems postpartum

By: mamalang

mamalang — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:51:59 +0000

I have nothing personal to add, but wanted you to know that another person is thinking of you. Good luck.

By: Apryl

Apryl — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 08:04:38 +0000

I have suffered from depression from my early teen.. I didn’t lable it as that I jsut figured that the way I ticked.. you are supposed to be depressive as a teen right? its normal… or so I thought … when I moved from California to England I became very depressed but my husband was wonderful and though he didn’t really “get” it he still stood by me and my “homesickness” ….things weren’t too bad for a while until I became pregnant with my son (now 5) I had hyperemisis quite badly.. and couldn’t work, go out, and was in the hospital for awhile on a drip feed… I was never asked how I felt by anyone doctors, midwives, Heath Visitors.. mostly I jsut felt sick and alone.. I didn’t have many friends here and my parents refused to travel to visit me… I was stuck in the house all day… i didn’t think about depression because the sickness was sitting so heavy on my chest soffocating me…. after I had my son I felt fine… for awhile…. until the stress of potty training triggered the depression and I just cried and cried for days on end and couldn’t do anything to help myself or my family… I went to my doctor and got a prescription for anti-depressants which worked.. I took them for a year and seemed to come out ok for awhile but the last year or two I keep slipping into the black.. or maybe clinging grey fog would be closer to how I feel… I know being homesick for the states and my parents and friends there affects me alot… every day is a struggle sometimes … writing helps and talking with friends… most of my friends are online and just typeing it out helps… I just wanted to say that I know… and that there are so many out there that have felt the same way…

By: Perpetua

Perpetua — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 01:48:42 +0000

I don’t know if it helps to hear these comments, but a lot of us have been where you are. I thought I knew what depression was, but it turns out I had no idea how bad it could get until I had my son.

And dammit, I do feminist theory for a living. I’m supposed to know that popular constructions of “Mother” are just that–constructions. Gilman? Taught her for years. But no amount of academic work prepares you for the reality of being a depressed mom.

The best you can do is what you’re already doing: talk it out, write it out if you can (remember, the worst thing that happened to Gilman is that her first doctor made her stop writing), and ask for help.

By: Danielle-Lee (A Little Left of Lost)

Danielle-Lee (A Little Left of Lost) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 01:46:02 +0000

I have suffered from depression for years, but didn’t realize it until I got PDD. I am so incredibly impressed by your courage and honesty here. I am so frightened for you, beause I have been there, so many times. It chokes.as a matter of fact, I’m fighting it right now….my med isn’t working, I feel myself folding back into myself, away from others, to my dark place. It’s so awful. There are meds that are safe when nursing.I hope that you feel some relief after your appt. Hugs to you. You are NOT alone.

By: Karen V

Karen V — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:29:23 +0000

I am currently breastfeeding and on Zoloft for the same thing. I would be happy to talk to you anytime. It will get better…keep reaching out. Maybe have your husband read this post. Good luck.

By: anymommy

anymommy — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 23:56:40 +0000

Just wanted to say I read this, I hear you. I can’t imagine how hard this is.

By: lisa

lisa — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 23:50:50 +0000

Something that might help is forcing (because men won’t go) your husband to go to therapy with you. He needs to hear what this is doing to you because unless they live it they don’t get it. But maybe he’ll understand more. (I’ve got the kind of depression that never goes away, but it helped him to understand).

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 23:33:53 +0000

You did such an amazing job putting it into words. My midwife recognized I was struggling before I even left the hospital and recommended I have follow up care. For what must have been the first two weeks of my son’s life I remember crying nonstop and practically screaming at my husband “I NEED help!” He would just worriedly ask “what is making you depressed?” No matter how many times I try to explain it he still can’t really understand. Eight months out I have my good days and some not so good days. Luckily none as bad as that first two weeks. With a newborn (that either screamed or nursed 24/7) I didn’t even feel like I had the option to make time to get help. I know I still need to be seeing someone but like others have said it is hard to find room in the budget or schedule for ongoing appointments. You are not alone in this fight. The network of moms online has been a very real lifesaver for me. And they don’t even charge co-pays!

By: beth aka confusedhomemaker

beth aka confusedhomemaker — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 23:29:02 +0000

I am here because of a tweet I read. I wanted to give you support & let you know that you are NOT alone. I have PPD. It has been one of the most difficult things I have gone through. I recently wrote about it as well & I’m available to “talk” via email, even if you don’t know me. I am offering because I know how hard it is to come forward with this, having other women come forward & let me know they had gone through this helped me so much. Just to know I wasn’t alone & didn’t have to deal with this shit in silence.

But speaking its name caused fear in me, as if naming it would give it power. When really it was my first step (in a journey I am walking through daily, some days are good & some are still rough but there are more good now than bad) in taking me back. You are taking back YOU.

And I second Kelly’s link, there are medications that are safe while breastfeeding. I myself ended up having to opt for that route, because it had gotten to that point. My skin felt foreign to me, I was an outsider looking in. I didn’t want to harm anyone either when I went in, but it was a disconnect that felt unbearable.

Anyway, I am rambling but wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone.