I Would Rather Have Poked My Eyes Out With Splintered Chopsticks
One of my bestest friends on the planet had a gorgeous baby boy a couple of months ago. Of course, we had to visit the happy new family. We actually bought plane tickets months ago, before my friend’s baby was even born.
At the time, I thought, “Wow, the girls are going to be eight months old when we go visit them!” Back then, the girls were portable and easy and just starting to be able to see their hands. What I didn’t realize was that, at eight months old, a baby can be a little complicated. She’s eating solid foods. She’s teething. She’s undergoing major developmental milestones. She has separation anxiety. She really likes routine and mama and boobies and familiarity in a way that she wasn’t aware of even a couple of weeks — hell, a couple of days – ago.
I had everything prepared. Seriously prepared. Like, an itemized list of shit to bring for the babies. I was extremely conservative with everyone’s luggage. I checked TSA guidelines. I called the airline to ask them to please not destroy our stroller. We pre-packed the car to make sure everything would fit.
This trip was going to go perfectly.
Do I really need to tell you what happened next?
For most of the 3.5-hour flight out, they screamed — and I’m talking not just cried, but SCREAMED — for probably 65% of the flight. Oh yes, it was as bad as you can imagine.
For the flight home, I thought, fuck this, I’m doing “it.” By “it,” I mean, I’m taking Benadryl and nursing the babies so that they’re knocked the fuck out subdued.
Oh, come on. Don’t judge. You know you’ve heard of it.
Problem is, it didn’t work. Like, not. at. ALL. We ended up with a drowsy-yet-terrified mama and two babies who screamed at the very threat of sitting down in a seat. That meant that Chris and I had to stand up with the girls in the Baby Bjorns the entire flight home. When we had to sit down for landing, Elise screamed so hard that she fell asleep in the Bjorn the second the plane touched down. We were quite a sight.
Our beautiful, angelic, perfect, well-adjusted little babies. WTF.
Anyhow. It sucked and I highly advise against flying with infants when they’re undergoing any sort of major developmental milestone whatsoever, such as learning to breathe.
14 comments
Oh you poor thing. I am so sorry. I hope the rest of the trip was at least somewhat enjoyable to make up for the 7 awful travel hours.
ohhh… I am so so sorry. Was the rest of the trip good at least?
Oh my god. Nightmarish.
You weren’t the first,and you won’t be the last. That’s what I told myself when Van screamed through a flight.
Plus, you’ll never see any of those people again either!
But look on the bright side… You aren’t stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere with polar bears and black smoke! I’d say the flight was a success.
I think you have to give them the benedryl directly (which i’m not sure is ok for 8 month olds) in order to have the knock out effect. I gave Sophie benedryl on our flight back from RI a couple years ago..and it didn’t really work either though – until like 5 minutes before we land and she’s out like a light. Oh well. You learned you could survive a trip like that…which means you can do anything wonderwoman.
I am so sorry. When I was little I used to get annoyed by baby’s screaming on airplanes. Then I went through it with my own and had sympathy from then on. It is so hard for baby’s to fly and usually there is nothing you can do to comfort them.
Benadryl has the opposite affect on some baby’s. Like mine for example. Benadryl knocks my son out yet my daughter gets drowsy but can’t sleep so she gets really crabby and hyper. Not fun.
I am glad the trip is over and I hope you had enough fun there to compensate the bad trip.
AHHHHH this just scared the shit out of me and we are taking a 7 hour flight to california tomorrow with a 3 hour time change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Benadryl DO NOT let me down!!!!!!!!!
RIDICULOUS! LOL! I can only imagine the whole experience
That totally sucks. At least you got a funny photo out of it?
Holy shit. We have not tried the airplane thing yet, and i don’t expect we will for some time. I remember that 8 month old thing. They need flippin everything.
LMAO!!!! so sorry for your experience…. i remember traveling with the magoo when he had his NG tube and i had purposely scheduled the flight during a feeding (to help with the ears and pressure shit that really is bullshit in my opinion)…. anyway, attempting an NG tube feeding ALONE because your husband was called away for work, on a plane, with a carriage, a an infant seat, a bag of formula hooked up to a pump to feed your child through his nose, and all the rest of the shit that comes with traveling with a baby……. ugh…. the suck-ige.
but that photo is pretty fantastic!
[...] car seat at the airport after enduring three-plus hours on an airplane with two screaming babies. (True story. Happened to [...]
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